Deployment

What a month this has been! Two weeks ago the Ott house was fairly quiet, with me preparing for finals and Nate doing his job as Chief of Scheduling at Luke AFB. A week ago today, we received work that there was a position for Nate in Iraq. This news turned our lives into a whirlwind as we completed the never-ending "deployment checklist" and spent hours running errands, doing paperwork, picking up new uniforms and packing his bags for a whole year in Iraq. And now the house is quiet again (though a little messy from the chaos). I have not taken any finals, and have no idea what the next year holds for me. Nate and I both wait expectantly for the blessings that will flow from this year. Nate's job will be challenging and interesting - and relatively safe. He will be in Baghdad working as an executive for a top commander there. Please pray for his work there, for his safety, and for both of us as we miss one another terribly. Pray that Iraq will find stability so that all troops can return home soon. And pray that my spirit will be calm and not frantic with worry for Nate. I will continue to blog, and will keep everyone updated on how Nate is doing. If you would like his address, please let me know.

Senator McCain and the cheap seats

Last night was the Arizona Diamondbacks' opening day game and Nate's squadron was in charge of the annual fly-by. Nate didn't fly, but got to walk around in his flight suit getting saluted by people who either thought he was in one of the jets or simply appreciate his service. We were invited to a corporate suite where we were lucky enough to meet John McCain. He's short. It was nice being in the suite. We appreciated the invitation and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. But I have to say a ballgame just isn't the same when you're not among the masses. We plan to go to another game when my brother Ben is here in a couple of weeks. We'll sit in the cheap seats and have a dog and a coke. Then I'll feel like I've been to the ballpark.

Major Ott

Nate doesn't like to make a big deal out of stuff like this, but I am so proud of him! On Monday Nate was promoted to Major! He's been in the Air Force for almost 10 years now. Since we met, he's been Captain Ott. It's going to be different calling the squadron and asking for Major Ott!

Hard to lose a son

What makes today so hard when yesterday was not? It's been three and a half months since we lost Tyler, and today the overwhelming sadness of it all is as real to me as it was that very first day. This weekend is Easter and I have been meditating on the cross. This unspeakable anguish has increased my love for my Lord - for his sacrifice. Losing Tyler has caused me to feel a tiny shred of the pain He felt in sending His son, knowing what we would do to Him. But if I feel this much, how much more do my parents feel? I will never forget the anguished sound of my Papa's voice when he spoke of God's sacrifice the day after Tyler died. I will never forget the pain in his voice when he lamented with God: "It's hard to lose a son." And God chose to lose His son. God must have chosen the greatest sacrifice. He did not send a brother, a wife or a friend. He sent His son. Losing a child must be the greatest loss. Of course there is joy at the end of the story, just as there is joy at the end of our tragedy. How I long for heaven. I love Chris Rice's "Untitled Hymn." It reminds me that in everything: joy and pain, success and failure, birth and death - He is here with me, and He has walked this painful road that we now seem to crawl. When I cry to him, he cries with me, for He is a man of sorrows, acquainted with suffering.